FMP another step

So after an awful weekend, feeling absolutely crap, having a small flare up of the hell that is MS ( I was feeling very over dramatic) I spent the first few days of the week feeling sorry for myself and my head was stuck in a circle, going round and round with the same thoguhts - eventually this will be everyday, whats the point in doing anythin, I just want to be left alone, im so embarrassed, i cant go outside every again... blah blh blah. Then mid week I started thinking more pro-actively! it was in the shower, and I just looked down at my body and thought "this one thing is taking over my life, ignoring it wont make it go away" and I made the decision its time to address the biggest symptom I have at the moment. Now, everyone assumes that going blind is the worst symptom to have, so scary, and yes it is, but its easy for me to address that in my work because everyone thinks it must be hard, so everyone just has an assumpution of it being really bad before even seeing my work, and now yes it depresses me when my sight becomes blurred or dark... but its nothing compared to the mental effects this has on me. The symptom I wanted to address has been plaguing my life, it has been EVERYDAY. and the worst part is im so utterly embarrassed and if i start to mention it to anyone, there reaction is always one that said "you shouldnt be talking about this and i dont know what to say please stop" This has kind of squashed my creative confidence in creating work around this symptom, i have thoguht about it before but always chickened out, and i can safely say I have only dipped my toes in here, but I find its just how I can stop caring about what people think, to ease myself in allows me to become engrossed in how i can get this down, and i stop eventually stop caring what others think! So the past couple days i'v been experimenting with how I can express this, and I feel it will take a lot more work. Im not happy with the outcome yet, not at all, but its a start an I have alot more bits an bobs in the works. But im really proud I have had the bravery to touch apon this

Anyhoo, this is where i'm at at the moment, not quite at the point where I can explain myself or what I did in this peice, I know some of it is self explainitory - like my facial expression, I wanted to have a cringy embarrased, and pain like expression (this isnt so hard when your experiencing it!) i didnt want it to be pretty or attractive, like most of my images, but i maybe will explain more when I stop caring what you all think of me! also sorry I havn't updated for a few days! I havnt forgotten my promise, just going though all this took a while! :)