Holiday

After spending a week away with my pal in Benidorm (the ugliest place iv ever spent a holiday, or so I thought after making that assumtion on the coach ride in)I feel a little worse for wear (too much cheap booze and late nights) but it gave me a chance to clear my head and think. I've been feeling like I've hit a mini rut with my all my college work at the moment, and could see the fog closing in on me. My friend convinced me to let go and just let things flow. So I did. I didn't pack a sketchbook, I didn't pack any art supplies. I just went to relax, and it just naturally flowed out of me. You see, I first had a total panic about getting no work done, freaking out, grabbing anything I could use to make out id done some work, I stole a load of sick bags from on the flight and a load of those little ball point pens as a desperate attempt to have something to convince myself i was still doing work. These remained untouched until the 3rd day in. We arrived in the morning so had the whole day to settle in, and we slept thorugh the day! Then after a hefty hangover on morning/afternoon of day two myself and Amy took a stroll down to the beach. We lay in the sun for a while not doing much at all, and then Amy and I started to muck around with the sand, drawing things in the sand, circles, shapes, faces, it was all a bit pointless but it was nice to do something for no reason, only because it felt right. Then we took a longer walk down the beach and discovered the impressive sand sculptures which I managed to take a few photographs of;

They are sprayed with water to keep them from crumbling and I was surprised at the amount of people just ignoring them! i sat looking at them for a good long time. Day three came along and I had an itch. i wanted to be doing something, I didn't know what so that morning I started sketching on the paper bags. did a few of our morning foods and discovered how quickly you become rusty if you don't draw... anyway heres one i have a photo of. fruits, it was one of my first and shows the rustiness! but thats why i still have it, to remind me!

Remeber I only has my paper sick bags and my ball point pen but it was better than nothing! I actually started signing my little drawings because I started leaving them all over the hotel and I thought lets sign them if that's what I'm doing! Day four was horse riding, now I have been riding since I was 8 but havn't been on a horse since diagnosis because I was scared I wouldn't remember my seat, balance, control or if I came off I'd relapse, but riding a horse is, i discovered like riding a bike. you don't forget. One thing i will say is I need to get back on the horse (haha)I suddenly realised I reallymissed this. I did a little "sick bag drawing" of the horse I had and the owner loved it so when I returned my helmet I left it in the tack room. (hope he has found it!) day four was the zoo. I HATED this. it was horrific. The animals were not well kept, like any other zoo. it brought me down off my little high. Anyway my sick bag drawing was a frog. he was really still which helped.

I kept this one because i felt I didn't want to leave anything of me in this zoo. Day five another hangover, but ALOT of thinking. maybe under thinking things is the key. because who cares. ART is for me, not for the approval of others. I started thinking about this. but thinking too much hurt my head. Day six, Spa day, Amys birthday, more drinking, more eating more sick bag drawings. leaving them around, and old lady, a bin (which i left in the bin) a few snaps. shopping, spending all our money. Good day. I ran out of bags on this day. Amy pointed out I'v spent all my time littering which is, I suppose, what I was doing, but in my weird head I thought of them as gifts, because I just didn't care, and that made them special. because I care about everything. day seven packing. ready to go home. :) Now I am home, just. and I am ready! tomorrow is Tysabri, I'm going to be full of energy and completely ready for getting on with everything.I feel that way now, so think how great i'l feel about it tomorrow! il update you soon! I needed this.