A Catch Up

 Its been a while since I have posted on here and I don't know why I stopped. I need this space to stay creative, even when I can't physically create, to log my thoughts and ideas to keep them swirling in my mind so they don't fizzle out and die.

So here I am. Back again 

A lot of things have happened since I last posted. I took the death of my Mother very hard. Not that I think that's an excuseto stop anything, most people have to experience it. It was just hard to live in my own head after that.

But a few months after something happened that changed my life. I found out I was pregnant. 

I took it in my stride, just something to get through, my pregnancy went perfectly, my MS activity stopped dead in its tracks at 11weeks with no medication, I felt great as my belly grew but still didn't understand the enormity of what was to come. 

Now I was aware of the night feeds, the no sleep, the screaming baby, the risk of post partum depression, the massive risk of having no medication for my MS for 9 months and all the other terrible things that come with having a baby.

I didn't expect to have a baby during a pandemic, to get a positive test result for COVID while giving birth and not having my partner there as he also had COVID, (it was like having 2 babies at the start)

But most of all I didn't expect to fall madly in love with this baby as soon as I laid eyes on him. 

I ended up having a Cesarian section which I was told may happen as I fatigue very quickly with my MS. Which did happen. I was wheeled down to the theatre with my face mask on struggling to breathe with every contraction and then all of a sudden the surgeon said "and here is your baby" lifting a tiny blonde baby and plopping him on my chest. The shock of seeing this beautiful baby boy and seeing him look into my eyes with the same shock and wonder was the most incredible experience I have ever had.

I have never experienced love at first sight until  that moment. 

ANYWAY - WHAT'S THIS GOT TO DO WITH ART, HAMBONE?!? 

So today I began a new painting.

So it all began digging out this canvas. I decided to use it.... Then I got the fear.

You know the one, the blank canvas fear. You mind goes blank and you don't want to tarnish the perfect white surface.

It happens to me when I have been ignore my creativity for a long time.

I had to remind myself thoroughly that mistakes are my creative friend. That's how I learn. Sometimes mistakes are happy accidents. 

Plus in my head I decided acrylic would be the way to go cos I could always paint over if if it went terribly wrong for piece of mind. 

So after speaking to an ex-student friend I decided why not paint the love of my life? 

"A preliminary sketch is what's needed here" I thought. Mainly because of the fear of splodging paint straight on the canvas again with no plan. 

So I am working on a rough sketch to start with, not quite working out, but getting there, will hopefully finish tomorrow so I can get cracking with the paints 😁😁😁

When I got very frustrated with my sketch I made the little house painting drying in the corner if you're wondering. Used watercolours, and got a few ideas from this so will be doing another post after this with more about it. 

Anyway then I calmed down and kept going with the main event.

The photographs this is based on were taken when I was video calling my Fiance to show him our son for the first time. 

I want this painting to be full of colour and life! But to have this basis of this image. 

8am excited to see where it goes!

I'll keep you posted.