Managable chunks

Every relapse I have to be reminded to break down daily tasks into managable chunks  from getting dressed to my work life (i have to break everything into little segments that i tick off a list or they get forgotten or I get so overwhelmed by the task my brain just refuses to do anything and then i loose my job)

And walking was the first. Going from someone who walked miles a day to someone who is floored walking to the end of the street. Its hard to accept but its harder to remember to do this, to use my crutches as soon as i feel weakness not after i jave fallen several times.

My cognitive function is definitly not what it was, which has knocked my confidence hard.

Strangely, just recently realised it has effected 2 things in my artistic life.

1. I get frustrated very very quickly on any creative process im trying to do. From line drawing to looking at a painting to listening to music. I can even lose my flow singing a song.

2. My reaction to my and others work has changed. I dont know if this is how my brain is taking in what i see or if it is some kind of depression of my former self dying.

But i view things with a bitterness i didnt have before.

Anyway this has caused me to reject most opertunities i get to explore my creativeness.

So since I break things down into managable chunks now like im a fucking idiot i shall be doing the same for my creative work.

10 minutes

Self

My lines have lost their confidence and I feel I dont know who i am anymore.

I look at this drawing with the same expression in it - indifference.