Awake

You know what? I miss art. I miss studying art, i miss that feeling that i need to create this. I need to find out what happens if i ... I miss coming home from learning all day and pulling out my sketchbooks again and carrying on. I miss being around creative people, I miss the passion. Why has it died inside me? Is it dead or just sleeping? Why have I stopped creating anything meaningful? My self confidence seems to be directly related to self exploration through art. Do i need to re look at myself and my life at this moment? I love my job. Well im constantly learning but its the wrong kind I can still learn grow, have that fire. Being in the college today made me feel strange. Seeing the old excitment in my sister i had and wanting it back. Seeing blank uninterested faces as I spoke about the work I created in the peak of my past creative self. wanting them to understand this was the making of me and it could be for them too. I Suddenly saw the world in a different way! If i could go back i would do it all over again and again and again because you can never know everything its constantly moving. Changing, more to learn more to explore! Why dont they see how exciting that is?? Even when restriced by a brief a there are ways around it, twisting and distroting the words to fit what you want. My worklife now has given me an even greater understanding of this and how you can twist things to mean something completely different than intended. So why am i creating nothing of any value? Because iv been asleep. Something woke me up today. My little sister woke me up.